Last Updated on August 6, 2026 by Status.net Editorial Team

• Performance Review Questions: Emotional Intelligence Part 1
• 5 – Outstanding Part 2
• 4 – Exceeds Expectations Part 3
• 3 – Meets Expectations Part 4
• 2 – Needs Improvement Part 5
• 1 – Unacceptable Part 6
• Writing Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessments as an Employee Part 7
• Evaluating Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Management Roles Part 8
• How Emotional Intelligence Fits into Broader Character Assessments Part 9
• Common Mistakes When Rating Emotional Intelligence in Reviews Part 10
• Practical Ways to Observe and Document Emotional Intelligence at Work Part 11
• Setting Development Goals to Strengthen Emotional Intelligence Part 12

Employees with high emotional intelligence are able to navigate complex social situations with ease, and are often seen as effective leaders and team players. Based on the answers to these questions, you can determine which rating to assign to the employee for emotional intelligence:

Emotional intelligence tends to show up less in what someone says and more in how they handle pressure, disagreement, and other people’s moods. Reviewers who understand its core components can spot it more reliably and describe it more precisely in writing.

Most models of workplace emotional intelligence, including the framework popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman, break the skill into five interconnected parts:

• Self-awareness: recognizing your own emotions and how they influence your decisions and behavior.
• Self-regulation: managing impulses and staying composed, even under stress or provocation.
• Motivation: channeling emotion toward goals rather than letting frustration or anxiety derail progress.
• Empathy: reading and responding to the emotional state of coworkers, clients, or direct reports.
• Social skill: building rapport, resolving conflict, and communicating in ways that strengthen relationships.

When you assess an employee on emotional intelligence, you are really evaluating a blend of these five areas. Some employees may show strong empathy but weak self-regulation, or excellent self-awareness paired with limited social skill. Noting which specific component needs attention makes your feedback far more useful than a general statement about someone’s emotional intelligence being high or low.

Part 1Performance Review Questions: Emotional Intelligence

1. Does the employee demonstrate an understanding of their own emotions and how they impact others?
2. How does the employee respond to the emotions of others? Are they able to empathize and respond appropriately?
3. Does the employee build strong relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual respect?
4. How does the employee communicate with others? Do they use language that demonstrates emotional intelligence?
5. Does the employee manage conflicts effectively, using emotional intelligence skills to resolve issues?

A few additional questions can help you assess emotional intelligence with more precision, especially for people managers and senior individual contributors:

6. Does the employee stay composed and constructive when receiving critical feedback?
7. How does the employee behave when a project is under pressure or a deadline slips?
8. Does the employee notice when a colleague is struggling, even if it is not stated directly?
9. How does the employee handle disagreement with a manager or senior leader?
10. Does the employee adjust their communication style depending on who they are talking to?

Related: Best Performance Review Examples for 48 Key Skills

2000+ Performance Review Phrases: The Complete List (Performance Feedback Examples)

Performance Review Phrases and Paragraphs Examples: Emotional Intelligence

Part 25 – Outstanding

Phrases Examples

– Consistently demonstrates exceptional emotional intelligence skills.
– Shows a deep understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior.
– Effectively manages their own emotions and responds appropriately to the emotions of others.
– Builds strong relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual respect.
– Effectively communicates with others in a way that demonstrates emotional intelligence.
– Anticipates how their words and actions will affect teammates before acting.
– Recognizes early signs of stress in others and offers support without being asked.
– Stays composed and solution-focused even in high-pressure or emotionally charged meetings.
– Serves as a go-to person for colleagues navigating interpersonal conflict.

Example Paragraph

John consistently demonstrates exceptional emotional intelligence skills. He has a deep understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior, which allows him to effectively manage his own emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others. John builds strong relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual respect. He is able to effectively communicate with others in a way that demonstrates emotional intelligence, which has helped him to be successful in his role and build strong connections with his colleagues.

Part 34 – Exceeds Expectations

Phrases Examples

– Demonstrates strong emotional intelligence skills in most situations.
– Shows a good understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior.
– Effectively manages their own emotions and responds appropriately to the emotions of others most of the time.
– Builds strong relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual respect most of the time.
– Effectively communicates with others in a way that demonstrates emotional intelligence most of the time.
– Recognizes when a conversation is becoming tense and adjusts their approach accordingly.
– Actively seeks feedback about their impact on others and adjusts behavior when needed.
– Supports colleagues through difficult situations with patience and genuine concern.
– Reads nonverbal cues well and responds with appropriate sensitivity.

Example Paragraph

Sarah demonstrates strong emotional intelligence skills in most situations. She shows a good understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior, which allows her to effectively manage her own emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others most of the time. Sarah builds strong relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual respect most of the time. She is able to effectively communicate with others in a way that demonstrates emotional intelligence most of the time, which has helped her to be successful in her role and build strong connections with her colleagues.

Part 43 – Meets Expectations

Phrases Examples

– Demonstrates basic emotional intelligence skills.
– Shows some understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior.
– Generally manages their own emotions and responds appropriately to the emotions of others.
– Builds relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual respect some of the time.
– Communicates with others in a way that demonstrates emotional intelligence some of the time.
– Recognizes obvious emotional cues but sometimes misses subtler signals.
– Handles routine interpersonal situations well but can struggle with high-stress moments.
– Accepts feedback about interpersonal impact, though follow-through is inconsistent.
– Shows willingness to listen, even when a more thoughtful response would help.

Example Paragraph

Alex demonstrates basic emotional intelligence skills. He shows some understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior, which allows him to generally manage his own emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others. Alex builds relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual respect some of the time. He communicates with others in a way that demonstrates emotional intelligence some of the time, but could benefit from further development in this area. While Alex is generally able to navigate emotionally charged situations, there are times when his responses may not be as effective as they could be. Overall, Alex meets expectations in terms of emotional intelligence, but there is room for improvement.

Part 52 – Needs Improvement

Phrases Examples

– Demonstrates limited emotional intelligence skills.
– Shows little understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior.
– Struggles to manage their own emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others.
– Has difficulty building relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual respect.
– Communicates in a way that often lacks emotional intelligence.
– Reacts defensively when receiving constructive feedback.
– Misses obvious emotional cues from teammates during discussions.
– Contributes to tension in team settings due to inconsistent self-regulation.
– Rarely checks in on how their words affect colleagues.

Example Paragraph

Emily needs improvement in the area of emotional intelligence. She demonstrates limited emotional intelligence skills and shows little understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior. Emily struggles to manage her own emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others, which can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings. She has difficulty building relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual respect, which can impact her effectiveness in her role. Emily’s communication often lacks emotional intelligence, and she could benefit from further development in this area.

Part 61 – Unacceptable

Phrases Examples

– Demonstrates a complete lack of emotional intelligence skills.
– Shows no understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior.
– Consistently struggles to manage their own emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others.
– Has a negative impact on relationships in the workplace.
– Communicates in a way that is often hurtful or inappropriate.
– Dismisses or minimizes the feelings and concerns of coworkers.
– Reacts to stress with outbursts, sarcasm, or withdrawal that unsettles the team.
– Shows no willingness to acknowledge how their behavior affects others.
– Repeated conflicts trace back to a lack of self-awareness or empathy.

Example Paragraph

Mark’s lack of emotional intelligence is unacceptable. He demonstrates a complete lack of emotional intelligence skills and shows no understanding of emotions and how they impact behavior. Mark consistently struggles to manage his own emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others, which has a negative impact on relationships in the workplace. His communication is often hurtful or inappropriate, which can create a toxic work environment. Mark requires significant development in the area of emotional intelligence in order to be effective in his role and work collaboratively with his colleagues.

Part 7Writing Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessments as an Employee

Performance reviews work best as a two-way conversation, and many companies ask employees to complete a self-assessment before their manager writes the official evaluation. Emotional intelligence is one of the harder skills to self-rate honestly, since it requires reflecting on blind spots that, by definition, are difficult to see in yourself.

A few practices help employees write a more accurate and useful self-assessment:

• Ground each claim in a specific situation rather than a general trait. Instead of writing “I am empathetic,” describe a moment when you noticed a teammate struggling and adjusted your approach.
• Ask a trusted colleague or manager for informal feedback before writing the self-assessment. A quick gut check often reveals blind spots.
• Acknowledge at least one area for growth. A self-assessment that claims perfect emotional intelligence tends to read as less credible to reviewers.
• Connect emotional intelligence to results. Explain how staying calm during a tense client call, for example, helped preserve the relationship or close the deal.

Sample self-assessment phrases employees can adapt:

– I noticed when tension was building in team meetings and adjusted my tone to keep the discussion productive.
– I asked for feedback on how my communication style affects the team and made adjustments based on what I heard.
– I recognized that I sometimes respond too quickly under pressure, and I have started pausing before replying to difficult emails.
– I supported a colleague through a stressful project deadline by checking in regularly and offering to help redistribute the workload.

Part 8Evaluating Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Management Roles

Emotional intelligence carries extra weight once someone is responsible for other people’s work, morale, or careers. A manager with strong technical skills but weak emotional intelligence can erode team trust over time, increase turnover, and create a climate where employees hold back concerns until problems become serious.

When reviewing a leader’s or manager’s emotional intelligence, look beyond individual interactions and consider patterns across the whole team:

• Does the manager create an environment where team members feel comfortable raising problems or disagreeing?
• How does the manager handle underperformance conversations? With composure and clarity, or with frustration and blame?
• Does the manager recognize burnout or disengagement in direct reports before it becomes a resignation?
• How does the manager respond when their own decisions are challenged by a direct report or peer?
• Does the manager adjust their leadership style based on what motivates each individual team member?

Sample phrases for reviewing leadership-level emotional intelligence:

– Creates a team environment where members feel safe raising concerns without fear of a negative reaction.
– Delivers difficult feedback directly and respectfully, focusing on behavior and impact rather than blame.
– Notices early signs of burnout on the team and adjusts workloads or check-in frequency accordingly.
– Remains open to challenge from direct reports and treats disagreement as useful input rather than a threat.
– Tailors coaching and communication style to the individual needs and motivations of each team member.

Because leaders influence the emotional climate of an entire team, a manager’s emotional intelligence rating deserves input from more than one source. Peer feedback and upward feedback from direct reports, gathered through a 360-degree review process, often reveal patterns a single manager’s direct observation would miss.

Part 9How Emotional Intelligence Fits into Broader Character Assessments

Emotional intelligence overlaps with character, though the two are not identical. A character assessment typically looks at traits like honesty, accountability, fairness, and work ethic, while emotional intelligence focuses specifically on how someone perceives, manages, and responds to emotion, in themselves and in others.

In practice, the two are easy to blur because they show up in similar moments. An employee who admits a mistake quickly is demonstrating accountability, and how they handle the emotional discomfort of that admission, whether they get defensive or stay open, reflects emotional intelligence.

When a review process includes a broader character assessment alongside an emotional intelligence rating, it helps to separate the two clearly in your notes:

• Character questions ask what someone values and whether their actions match those values.
• Emotional intelligence questions ask how someone processes and manages emotional information, their own and other people’s.

Keeping these categories distinct prevents a single strong or weak moment from unfairly coloring an employee’s rating in an unrelated area.

Part 10Common Mistakes When Rating Emotional Intelligence in Reviews

Emotional intelligence is one of the trickier competencies to rate fairly, partly because it is easy to confuse with likability or personality style. A few mistakes show up again and again:

• Mistaking extroversion for emotional intelligence. A more reserved employee can have excellent self-awareness and empathy, even if they are less outwardly expressive than a more talkative colleague.
• Rating based on a single incident. One tense meeting or one calm crisis response is a data point, not a pattern. Look across multiple situations before assigning a rating.
• Confusing agreeableness with empathy. An employee who avoids all conflict is not necessarily emotionally intelligent. Real empathy sometimes requires an honest, uncomfortable conversation rather than avoidance.
• Writing vague feedback without examples. A phrase like “needs to work on emotional intelligence” gives the employee little to act on. Anchoring feedback to a specific situation makes it far more useful.
• Letting cultural or personal communication norms skew the rating. Directness, emotional expressiveness, and conflict styles vary across cultures and individual personalities. Consider whether a behavior actually reflects low emotional intelligence or simply a different communication style than the reviewer’s own.

Part 11Practical Ways to Observe and Document Emotional Intelligence at Work

Emotional intelligence rarely shows up in metrics or deliverables, so building a fair rating requires deliberate observation over the review period rather than a last-minute reconstruction from memory.

A few habits make this easier:

• Keep a running log of specific moments, both positive and challenging, that illustrate how an employee handled emotionally charged situations.
• Use a simple situation-behavior-impact structure when writing notes: what was happening, what the employee did, and what effect it had on the team or outcome.
• Gather input from peers who interact with the employee in situations the manager does not directly observe, such as cross-functional meetings or client calls.
• Compare the employee’s self-assessment with manager and peer observations to spot gaps in self-awareness.
• Watch for patterns rather than isolated events. One defensive reaction during a stressful week is different from a repeated tendency to react defensively to any feedback.

This kind of documentation also protects both the employee and the reviewer. Specific, dated examples make it much easier to have a productive conversation about emotional intelligence, since the feedback is anchored in observable behavior rather than a subjective impression.

Part 12Setting Development Goals to Strengthen Emotional Intelligence

A rating of needs improvement or unacceptable is only useful if it comes with a clear path forward. Emotional intelligence can improve with deliberate practice, though progress tends to be gradual and benefits from regular check-ins rather than a single conversation.

Development goals that tend to work well include:

• Practicing a short pause before responding in emotionally charged conversations, such as counting to three or taking a breath before replying.
• Requesting regular feedback from a manager or peer on how communication style is landing with the team.
• Working with a coach or mentor on specific scenarios, such as delivering difficult feedback or navigating disagreement with a senior leader.
• Keeping a brief journal after difficult interactions to reflect on what triggered a strong reaction and how it was handled.
• Attending training focused on active listening, conflict resolution, or self-regulation techniques.

Sample development goal phrases:

– Will practice pausing before responding in tense conversations and seek feedback from the manager on progress each month.
– Will request quarterly feedback from at least two peers on communication style and interpersonal impact.
– Will complete a workshop on conflict resolution and apply at least one new technique in team meetings within the next quarter.

Following up on these goals during the next review cycle, rather than only at the annual review, gives employees a realistic chance to show measurable change.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I tell if an employee is emotionally intelligent?

Look for consistent patterns rather than a single interaction. Does the person notice how their words affect others, stay composed under pressure, and adjust their approach based on the emotional state of the room? Employees with strong emotional intelligence tend to build trust quickly and rarely leave a wake of unresolved tension after a difficult conversation.

How is emotional intelligence used in a sentence for a performance review?

A reviewer might write something like, “She demonstrated strong emotional intelligence by recognizing the team’s frustration during the product delay and adjusting the meeting agenda to address concerns before moving forward.” The key is to describe a specific behavior tied to emotional intelligence rather than using the term as a standalone label.

What are some strong point examples to mention in a reference or performance review?

Strong points related to emotional intelligence often include staying calm under pressure, reading a room accurately, giving feedback in a way that lands well, mediating conflict between coworkers, and adjusting communication style for different audiences. Pairing each strength with a brief example makes the feedback more credible and memorable.

What is the difference between emotional intelligence feedback and general performance feedback?

General performance feedback usually focuses on outcomes, such as meeting deadlines or hitting targets. Emotional intelligence feedback focuses on how someone handles themselves and their relationships while pursuing those outcomes, including self-awareness, composure under stress, and how they treat colleagues along the way.

Can emotional intelligence be improved, or is it a fixed trait?

Emotional intelligence tends to improve with practice, feedback, and self-reflection, though change usually happens gradually. Employees who receive specific, example-based feedback and set concrete development goals are more likely to see improvement than those who receive only a general rating.

How does emotional intelligence differ from a character assessment?

A character assessment generally evaluates values like honesty, accountability, and integrity. Emotional intelligence specifically evaluates how someone perceives and manages emotion, in themselves and others. The two often show up in the same situations, but a reviewer benefits from assessing them as separate categories.